Tea With a Side of Squashed Beef
Beginning things first, Nene is still wearing that wig; that was non a one fourth dimension thing. At present that that's out of the way, a question: Has there ever been a television villain as terrifying as Mama Joyce? I'chiliad trying to recall… Wile E. Coyote was pretty conniving, right? I think Vince McMahon is a bit of a nuisance. Mr. Burns has that menacing finger thing. I'm positive King Joffrey was kind of a twit, merely when I hold any of these bad guys next to Mama Joyce, with her mood swings, hatred for all things not her, haunting "low voice," and ability to manipulate even the smartest of business organisation women into cowering piles of "that's just how my mama is" goo, all the Goggle box villains that came earlier her seem about as threatening as Nene by Nene Leakes is to Marc by Marc Jacobs.
Tonight was about more than merely Mama Joyce and Kandi, of class; as the title volition tell you lot, it was more often than not virtually squashed beef, which sounds disgusting. And so, family unit manipulation (Kandi), family neglect (Phaedra), and the briefing room meeting held between Nene, Porsha, Cynthia, and Republic of kenya—where all the titular beef was squashed into a mincemeat pie as constructive as that accidental one Rachel made on Friends—all fit right in.
But even amongst all of that pare-crawling, beefy narrative, no scene can ever trump a Mama Joyce scene when it comes to pure terror. When that woman hits the screen, my natural language somehow starts to feel like information technology's wearing a sweater and I swear I tin can scent toast; and yet, I'thou horrifyingly fascinated by…
The Degradation of Kandi Burruss
What has happened to Kandi? I can confess, even equally your trusty (biased, snarky, often wrong) recapper that I was a fiddling late to the RHOA game. By the time I striking the scene, I had watched a few other Real Housewives series, and assumed Atlanta would be much of the same. I was surprised to observe that the women of the Atlanta incarnation, more than any other group, seemed to exist chosen because they had careers, bulldoze, and if nothing else, an entrepreneurial spirit about them. These women could plough a weave line out of a paper bag in between being lawyers or models, and none more successfully than Kandi Burruss. I mean, the woman wrote "No Scrubs" and has a sex toy line that's a play on her own proper noun—that'southward some American dream shit. Or, information technology was.
Beginning with last season, when Kandi'south mother starting time began to reveal her truthful colors, Kandi besides began to reveal hers: a smart woman who only cannot say no to her mother, a adult female who deserves the word "no" more than any other on a show total of women that frequently bring their own props to dinner parties and wear high-h2o, wide-legged pants. Out of some kind of destructive gratefulness that alters her ability to hear reason, Kandi merely can't assist but let her mother walk all over her in the same shoes that she occasionally threatens to beat Kandi'southward best friends up with.
That understandable, but ill-conceived respect volition likely be her demise, equally fabricated articulate in this episode. It kicks off with Kandi and Mama Joyce arriving at her Aunt Nora's to have dejeuner with the Onetime Lady Gang after Kandi has just spent hundreds of thousands of dollars buying Joyce a 2nd house after she let her beau play Whack-a-Fixture in the last firm Kandi gave her, then told her she didn't like it anymore.
Mama Joyce seems merely on the edge of not totally irritated by this purchase, but insists that Kandi can't accept a key to the business firm considering she doesn't have a key to Kandi's (presumably for fear that she'd melt downward her candlesticks and skin all of her pink velvet couches). One of Kandi's aunts—who aren't psychopaths, but too constantly force Kandi to make up with Mama Joyce, so yada, yada, past proxy, yada—says, "Let'due south consume before y'all beginning discussin' 'tour the keys and the mens and the walkin' nekkid," which is kind of an OLG play on the actual mission statement of this testify: "Let's beverage before we verbally eviscerate one another and kickoff pretending like we don't know the word "apologize."
Side by side: Continue your female parent-in-law's thoughts to yourself, Kandi…
Kandi resists telling her female parent about the heated chat in New York with Todd'due south mom for well-nigh 2 seconds, earlier she directly tells Joyce that Sharon said she wanted to punch her in the face. Because, manifestly, Kandi is at present a completely cocky-destructive person who can't resist repeating every unmarried matter always said to her and will stop at nothing to shred the already tenuous bonds of her marriage. Mama Joyce takes the news well and concedes that she should indeed apologize because, while Sharon has otherwise proved herself to be a reasonable person, she herself has been interim like a greedy, happiness-antisocial lunatic for at least the last v years of her daughter's life, and certainly the entirety of her relationship with Todd.
Aw, I'thousand simply kidding y'all. She says, "She meliorate not come up like no cabbage," and her sister clarifies: "Don't come all caput and no ass." This is a family of pod people.
Later, at the Kandi Factory, Kandi explains to Todd that not only is she trying to ruin their personal lives, she would as well like to be seen as a shoddy businesswoman from now on, if at all possible. She decided to take her play, A Mother's Love—which I don't think was critically panned or annihilation, but that was probable generally due to information technology beingness a two-night Atlanta nonentity—on a 26-city tour, outsourced the promoting, and is at present faced with not even half of the seats being sold. That's the buffer she offers before telling Todd that she told her mother about the punching threat, and I think Todd speaks for all of the states when he says, "But really, do you call up you should have told your mom that?"
She's immediately defensive in the way that 5-year-olds explaining why they put the cat in the dryer are, but Todd is over trying to work out the drama between their two families. And that's just the thing…they don't all have to be i family. They're ii families. So, your mothers don't become along? Just separate the holidays. But Todd goes on to explicate that the lingering trouble is that, given a preference, he'd like a restraining order, a baby-sit dog, and Republic of kenya'south scepter between him and Mama Joyce at all times, and Kandi should be able to understand that. Spoiler alert: She does not, and likely never volition.
"Goodbye… get your mama together." – Todd
In less doomed storylines, Cynthia takes Claudia to get a makeover with Derek J while unapologetically wearing a pastel pink golfer's cap and talking about how deplorable it is when pretty girls don't profile their faces within an inch of their lives. Poor, pretty Claudia. Her mother and paternal grandmother come to boondocks tonight, and so he takes them and her new 'do to Lips, a eating place operated by elevate queens, and of everything that happens there, I am nigh shocked past her 90-yr-old grandmother cruising upwardly the steps of the restaurant like Rocky Balboa. Perhaps Cynthia should trade way tips ("I know it feels wrong, just apply equally much of the metallic blue on your eyes as possible") for walking tips from Claudia's grandmother ("Why are you lot walking like that? Just walk faster. Don't you teach people how to walk for your livelihood? Walk faster!").
While Cynthia was forcing Claudia to get her hair curled, she got a text from Nene—and she is up to something. Earlier nosotros saw her telling Porsha that she wants Porsha, Cynthia, Kenya, and herself to all gather together to squash their issues, only she conveniently leaves Porsha's name out of the text she sends Cynthia, simply telling her to "bring [her] girl, Republic of kenya." Cynthia gets that warm feeling in the pit of her stomach that tin but come up with Peter saying, "I'thou going out of boondocks for a week," and the prospect of a storyline she doesn't have to create herself.
Her girl Kenya is busy searching for an office space for her flourishing empire. What empire, y'all ask? Why, the empire she's created in her caput later just one meeting with Roger Bobb where he told her, sure, they could work on something together, without actually establishing any existent ideas, projects, timeframe, or vocalization inflection that would imply he actually had whatever intention of working with her. Then, that's totally grounds for thinking yous demand a huge office space and two new assistants, and not at all a sad delusion of being a "mogo." And neither is Cynthia calling Kenya and telling—not asking—Kenya to come up to what'due south sure to be a beautiful reunion between herself and Nene. Kenya is non a lot of things (subtle, quiet, capable of wearing a decent pair of pants), but she'due south a fearsome combination of smart and shady, and she knows a ready when she hears one. She's prepared for Porsha to be there. Waiting. Smugly waiting.
NEXT: Squashed beef soup with a side of vodka…
As all of this nonsense happens for prove, Phaedra is still going through the very real drama of her married man waiting to be issued a prison sentence and not using every 2d of his remaining free fourth dimension with his two children who happen to be two of the nearly precious little nuggets around. Nosotros can all say what we want about the way that Phaedra entered her matrimony or the things she's lied nearly in the by, but we can't maybe assume that she intended for Apollo to show this much disregard for his responsibility as a father. Withal, while I agree with the sentiment, I practise wish she would stop proverb "honey is a verb, non a noun." Considering, well, it is a noun.
Finally, Nene gathers the four housewives of the apocalypse at a restaurant they all call up is below them, which is ridiculous, because anywhere tin pour tonic into vodka, and that is really their only requirement for a food institution. Well, that and giant conference tables where they can deport the business of their friendships. Right now, business organization relations are tense. Nene and Porsha arrive first and seat themselves on i side of a rectangular tabular array; when Republic of kenya and Cynthia arrive, everyone screams "Heeeeeeeeey," and "Yaaaaaaaas," like they simply could not imagine annihilation more fun than what is sure to be two hours of pointless arguing, and and so seat themselves on opposite ends of the rectangular tabular array instead of across from the other two. Everything is cool.
And it just gets more absurd every bit they pair off to squash all of their beef. I wish they would fall over like that reporter who tried to squash grapes, but instead they kind of circular-robin it. You may remember that a few episodes ago, Cynthia and Nene established that they could forgive each other and move on to existence friends who forever complaining that they in one case loved each other like sisters, but Nene would need some time (to torment Cynthia with the dangling carrot of her friendship), while Cynthia was gear up to snap dorsum into her rightful dwelling house similar 1 of those birds that lives on top of cattle… well, they accept that exact same give-and-take tonight and it once once more ends with Nene permitting Cynthia to give her kisses. Friendship!
The whole time they were conversing, Kenya was annoyingly butting in with comments, and when she attempts to do the same thing while Cynthia and Porsha squash their pretend beef over the time Porsha was tardily to tiffin and Cynthia was dressed similar the beatboxer in a collegiate a cappella group, Porsha snaps and tells Kenya she's "rude as a mother f–ker." Nene tells Porsha to settle down and asks Kenya if she can take good energy while going nigh an attempted squashing with Porsha. Kenya says she's already forgiven Porsha, to which Porsha responds, "Was I asking for forgiveness?" considering Porsha is a seventh grader in a wig. Republic of kenya says they all have things they've said that they should be ashamed of, and they need to acknowledge that, and dammit, no one makes me feel forced to side with Republic of kenya quite like Porsha.
Porsha says that she acknowledges that her deportment at the reunion were a choice, which is basically like saying, "I acknowlege that at some signal every night I autumn asleep," only that'south enough for Republic of kenya to become upward, walk the football game field to the other end of the table and inquire for a hug like the imitation bigger person she is. She then proceeds with the squashing in the proper name of a paycheck: "I'm over this, I forgive you, I take full responsibility for my role…and I'm willing to move on." Porsha says, "If yous're accepting information technology, I tin," and for goodness' sake, please let that "I tin can" mean that she can too accepts responsibility, and non that if Republic of kenya accepts responsibility, she can requite her hug. Either way, she gives her a hug. And with all the beef sufficiently squashed into a fine, meaty powder, the restaurant owner walks over to see if they have whatsoever involvement in dancing on the bar later.
They laugh and express joy, and slurp their vodka tonics like they simply couldn't imagine e'er being classless plenty to trip the light fantastic toe on a table at a bar… that'south where they practice all their all-time screaming, later all.
Next week: Ladies Love Roger Bobb; the Mean Girl Hazes the New Girl; and the Bailey-Thomases Expand Their Empire to the Dump
The Existent Housewives of Atlanta
NeNe, Kandi, Cynthia, Phaedra, Kenya, and Claudia keep the ATL just dandy.
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Source: https://ew.com/recap/the-real-housewives-of-atlanta-season-7-episode-8/
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